Jokes_4

Treat men like underwear. Throw out the old and ratty but keep the ones that make you feel sexy and pretty.

Doctor: Ur knees all blistered?
Lady: Coz of doggy style!
Doctor: Can't u do it any other style?
Lady: Oh, I can, but my dog can`t!

A woman whose hubby took "Extra Dosage of Viagra", to her friend: My Husband has become so horny that I can't even 'YAWN' in front of him.

Kate was disappointed with Williams. She always thought a Ruler had 12 inches.

Best lines by a cockroach to a young man, " I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can".

Charity gig tonight in aid of people who struggle to achieve orgasm - don't worry if you can't come.

Women's tears are like male sperms, one in million is for the right cause...

Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down and use a lubricant.

What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
Navel!

3 Secrets of healthy and active life
1. Ramdev in the morning.
2. Namdev in the evening.
3. Kamdev at night.
Enjoy daily with these tridev.

Accidents take a second but sufferings last a lifetime!
Please ensure Condoms & Helmets are worn on appropriate "Heads" during "Respective Rides".

A School once held a contest for kids. the theme of d contest was, 'The Nicest Thing My Father Did For Me'....
The Winning kid said, "NOT WEARING A CONDOM"...

 

Life without Friends is like Boobs without Nipples...
Bloody POINTLESS!

There's absolutely no reason to fear menopause....
It`s the eggs that expire & not the Hen....
And the Cock still enjoys it!

Life is like a Dick, sometimes it gets hard for no reason!!

Man has 23 useless part. 20 Nails he can,t Hammer, 2 Balls he can't Throw and 1 Cock that doesn't Crow. Ladies don't laugh, ur Pussies cant catch Mice either!

On a condom dispensing machine, it was written "Very Safe - Strictly made as per High British standards".
Someone added below- " So was the Titanic, but it leaked."

A great thought by a Naughty Woman....
Men are not attracted towards me because of my Mind. But they are attracted towards me because " I don't mind"!

However tiring the times may be;
Whatever situations life puts them through.
Strong men never look down;
Unless it's a woman's cleavage.

Little girl climbs a tree. Man sees, calls her down & gave her Rs. 100 to buy an Underwear. Girl tells Mom. Mom climbs next day. Man calls her down & gave Rs. 5 to Buy a RAZOR.

Homosexual: Someone trying to widen his friend's circle.

A loving husband tattooed, "I love you", on his Dick and showed it to his wife.
She replied: This is your old habit of putting words into my mouth.

The husband says to his wife: Get ready; you, me and the dog are going fishing. Wife says I don't want to go. Man gives her 3 choices. Fishing, blow job or take it up the arse. Wife picks the blow job. While sucking, she says, "It stinks of shit." The husband replies, "Even the dog didn't want to go fishing."

A famous prostitute died. People were confused regarding as to what should be written on her grave. Finally, on the advise of a wise man, they wrote: AT LAST, SHE SLEEPS ALONE!

 

A coalition govt. is like a single hook bra. Some wonder what's holding it, while others r waiting for it to fall down & grab the opportunity with both hands!

Only love can remove Misunderstandings, Worries, Doubts, Fears, Tears and Underwears!

The word "Boob" is the Perfect word. The B looks like a top view of them, the 2 Os look like a front view, and the b looks like a side view. perfectly engineered!

These two words open many doors in life.
Push and Pull!

Don't you hate when you open a bag of chips and it's 30% full?
That's how guys feel about a push-up bra.

To avoid condom related accidents, use 2 condoms with chilli powder in between them.
If the outer one breaks, she will know & if the inner one breaks, you will know!

 

Thought for the day: In terms of sex satisfaction, woman is like a road and a man is like a traveller.
The traveller gets tired but the road never ends!

Woman has man in it. Mrs. has Mr in it. Female has male in it. She has He in it. Madam has Adam in it.
No wonder then, men always want to be inside women!

Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new.

Prof teaching muscle movement, asks a lady: Do you know what your asshole does when you have an orgasm?
Lady: Sure, he's at the office, working!

UR msgs r like a Girl's Period, comes once a month for 3-4days & disappears. But My msgs r like a Man's Sperms that come Daily or Twice a Day. So msg like a Man.

A loving husband tattooed I LOVE U on his dick n showed it to his wife. She replied: "This is ur old habit of Putting Words Into My Mouth...!"

 

What's the geographical definition of sex?
It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, occasionally with a little help from Greece!

Bunny seriously objected to the nomenclature of VAGINA.
His objection: Iko cheez ta vajaan wali hai, teh ohnu kehande ne VAJAI NA !

A woman who arouses a man and leaves is called a Cockteaser. What is a man who does the same called?
A Moisturiser.

Our love will never become cold and hollow unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

What is pure Hindi name of Condom??
Rubber ki Chiknai yukt Prajanan virodhak mardana Ling ki topi.

Blonde: I think my tits are full of water.
Doctor: How do u figure that?
Blonde: Everytime a guy squeezes them my pussy gets wet